A Drop In The Ocean
by FadingIntoYou
Summary: Sasha does what he thinks is best, but is it? And what unlikely ally will make him realize there's more on the line than just gymnastics? T for later chapters


Ok here's a few things before you read:

1. Listen to Ron Pope's "A Drop in the Ocean" when reading this, it was my inspiration to write for the first time since last year.

2. I know nothing of gymnastics so no judging me!

3. This is set 2 weeks after the Olympics and Payson has been gone doing press or whatever and hasn't seen Sasha since the closing ceremony.

4. May seem slightly out of character for one or 2 involved, but I wanted it that way b/c I wasn't up for super drama on this one.

5. AFTER HE PUSHED HER AWAY IT'S AU SO DON'T GET CONFUSED (so no awkwardness)

6. I don't own show or characters...blah blah blah...

Enjoy!

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Feeling the cold metal rest in the palm of his hand, chain dangling between his fingers, the realization of what he's done and what he's about to do hit him so hard he has to take a deep breath to keep his eyes from that glassy stage right before tears start to fall. He normally isn't one to cry, but he has always been the man that lets his emotions get the better of him. Seeing her silently guarded and awe struck blue orbs for the first time in his mind's eye made him surrender to that feeling of his Olympic control slipping and letting her get under his skin. She was different, and he didn't realize back then just how much.

As he felt the presence of another at his side, his palm instantly shut to hide the evidence of his pain. He knew that it was his time to leave, but couldn't help the urge to run the second he felt that comforting touch on his shoulder.

"Are you really sure this is what you really want to do?" Kim Keeler asked, sensing his hesitancy more than seeing it under the dim lights.

"I would never want to do this to her" he snapped, instantly seeking her eyes in an unspoken apology as she moved closer. She waved it off as she did everything else, knowing he didn't mean it.

"But I have to, you know that. I'd never ask her to give up everything for me" he whispered the last part to himself, but the silent gym made his words bounce off the walls to mock him.

"You never asked her what she wanted though; this may break her more than her injury did. You put her back together and formed a bond with her that had everyone else on the outside looking in" she confessed, knowing that he was only vaguely aware of the depth of her daughter's feeling for him and didn't believe it completely.

"I know that as well, but she deserves someone that won't taint her win and will be able to hold her hand in public at the very least...I can't even do that"

Kim rested her eyes on the aged man in front of her, and knew that age wasn't what made him look so much older than he was. The lines on his forehead had deepened significantly as the Olympics came to the end, and that arrogant smirk he was famous for was rarely anything but forced anymore. She thought back to the moment she realized Sasha was in love with her daughter, and remembered seeing two parts of a whole. It was hard to swallow after the whole kiss fiasco, but taking in the way he'd watch her routines and look just as emotional and passionate as she did kept her from lashing out angrily. Confronting him about it was an entirely different thing though.

**A week after they kissed and her pushed away**

_"Sasha can I talk to you for a minute?"_

_Looking up from his paperwork, he looked like a deer caught in the headlights, a look that has become common whenever looking at her. She knew he'd fallen for Payson and knew Payson had feelings towards him, but refused to make it easy on him. Walking over to the window to watch her daughter concentrate on her floor routine, she pretended to act distracted and in need of his help._

_"Payson isn't the same Sasha. She seems as if there's more to what she's say than I'm hearing...Could you know anything about that" she asked as she turned to stare at him, making him meet her eyes. She noticed the way he seemed uncomfortable and unable to form words, so she continued on._

_"I mean, I understand Worlds is right around the corner, but it's as if she's shut down completely. She needs to talk to someone, that much I know, but I don't seem to be the right person" she then went in for the kill, "Could you talk to her tonight and see if that's what she needs?"_

_He sits there looking almost green, and Kim starts to feel bad that she's torturing him until he speaks uncharacteristically softly for him._

_"No problem, I've been meaning to talk to her as well" he said, and once again looked frightened as she smiled at him._

_"Oh good, I hope you two have a breakthrough; I know she needs something that I don't think I can give her. I'll leave and give you two some privacy and you can just drop her off whenever you finish; I trust you". At that, his face lost all color and his eyes widened. She then actually laughed aloud, making him suspicious as to why._

_"What's so funny?" he asks innocently enough to fool anyone but her._

_"Oh not much, just the fact that Payson kissed you and you look like I just sent you to your death" she said in between breaths, knowing he was slowly putting the pieces together in his head. _

_"Oh...So she told you? Good, good I was hoping she would" he said uncomfortable again, this time his movements catching her attention as he messed with a chain around his neck._

_"What's on your necklace? I've never seen it before" she said stepping closer and he took a step back, putting his hand on his chest over the piece that hung under his shirt._

_"Um, just a dog tag I had made of an important person to me" he said vaguely, tightening his hand. _

_"May I please see it?" she asked, but both knew it wasn't a request. He didn't remove it right away, but moved to the window where he only saw Payson on the beam this time since everyone else had gone home. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before speaking to Kim, keeping his eyes on Payson._

_"How long have you known?" he whispers thickly, afraid of her answer._

_"When she cries because of embarrassment, it's usually mixed with frustration at letting her emotions get the best of her. Those tears onto my shoulder the morning after were heartfelt and even made me cry at the sound of it. I knew you guys were close, but I never thought that bond would develop into this..."  
_

_"I am so incredibly sorry..." he said as his vision blurred and voice cracked. Watching as Payson flew on vault, Kim knew that apology wasn't meant for her._

_"I never meant to cause her any pain, I was trying to keep her from getting hurt. I know what I am, and her feelings for me will tear her apart in the end. I'm barely holding it together, and I've had time to get used to the idea"_

_"You think I want her hurt? I want to protect her from everything, especially you" she said, and his head snapped up to look at her, hurt evident in his blue eyes._

_"You shouldn't have to save her from anything, especially her coach. I'd never do anything to hurt her intentionally"_

_"And that's exactly where there's a problem Sasha. You have the power to hurt her, and I can't blame anyone because she chose to give that piece of herself to you, conscious at first or not"_

**Present**

Pulling herself out of her memories, she saw a chain dangling from his palm, knuckles white as if holding on for dear life.

"It's been almost two years Sasha, and you both acknowledged an attraction and ignored it in favor of the Olympics. Don't you both deserve the chance to see if what you both felt is real?"

He sighed, and unclenched his fist. He handed Kim the dog tag that used to rest under his shirt for two years and heard her surprised gasp. He knew exactly what she was looking at; Payson and him locked in a hug, her expression glowing happy at more than just her nearly flawless routine. On the other side held an engraving in his native tongue. _Stiind ca te iubesc este suficient, chiar daca asta e tot ce vor avea vreodata sa detina asupra sa._

"Has she seen this?"

"No, but she will. I need you to give it to her for me. If I give it to her myself I'll never be able to save her and everything that goes wrong will be because of me" he said as he walked towards the gym doors. She saw the tension in his shoulders and could feel the hurt and desperation pouring off of him in waves as she followed.

As he shut the doors, he took one last look around and let his eyes linger on the bars. The apparatus that once held the weight of the best power gymnast in the world now held an artistic gymnast that he's fallen in love with.

He'd never be able to look at them again.

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Like it? I LOVE IT. I'm considering continuing because I have another chapter planned out if anyone wants to read it. Let me know because there's more I can do with this to stretch it into a few chapters...5 max.

By the way, I used a translator from Google so...not my fault if it's wrong :)

**Translation: **Knowing that I love you is enough, even if that is all I will ever have to hold on to.


End file.
